Tuesday, 25 November 2008

  • Life, Death and Sickness

    I'm sick again.  Just to share, I fall sick and catch every virus out there like some overzealous virologist, except in this case, I'm the poor petri dish. And to continue to reinforce the classic line that "it never rains but pours", I have an exam in two days time (or rather, two nights and one day) and I can confirm that I'm screwed.

    So, I'm gonna post a random Emily Dickinson poem, because poetry makes me feel better. The theme is death, but unexpectedly, it's far from gloomy.

    Of Tolling Bell I ask the cause?
    "A Soul has gone to Heaven"
    I'm answered in a lonesome tone -
    Is Heaven then a Prison?

    That Bells should ring till all should know
    A Soul had gone to Heaven
    Would seem to me the more the way
    A Good News should be given.

    Emily Dickinson

    Since I was a kid, I've had an obsession with death. I think about it, and when I was a miserable kid/teenager, I planned it. When people near me died, I would fall into a deep rut, even if I barely knew the deceased.

    But now that I've become a Christian, I've discovered different facets to death. I've learnt that even if it doesn't seem fair, death can be a part of God's plan. I've learnt that the eternal salvation of that person's soul is God's arena and it's no one else's business to "figure it out."

    Closer to home, I've learnt that if I were to take my own life, it would be disobeying God and running away from the plan that He has for me. It would be ironically, "saving my own life" and losing it in the process. (Luke 9:24) To lose my life for God actually means (for me) to live with strength and faith, no matter what. To be honest, there have been nights when I prayed and begged to die, that I would not wake up in the morning. Because that was what I wanted.

    But what I want more is God's will for my life. I want to glorify Him and please Him because He has done so much for me, and He loves me with this incredible love, even though He sees my good, my bad, and my very ugly.

    As many of you probably know, life's a bitch, a.k.a a female dog. And I'm gonna grab her by her canine hind legs, throw her over my shoulder, and lift her up to God as an offering. So that by the time God decides it's game over for me, it shall be truly Good News that my Soul has gone to heaven.

    How about you? What does death mean to you?   

     

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About this Entry

    • From: Issie
    • Posted: 11/25/2008 10:52 AM

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