Friday, 02 January 2009

• Christians can't have negative feelings?

  There is an interesting guest post on Revelife discussing swearing amongst Christians. There are some comments saying that it's the intent that matters, that God knows what you mean, whether you are screaming "F*CK!" or muttering "Bodily Waste Matter" or "Sugar Pie and Cookies Shake" under your breath. A comment was made that suggested it is inappropriate for Christians to have negative feelings and to vent our anger and frustration. Really?

  Personally, I do not have much hang-ups when it comes to swearing. The only golden rule is that I do not take the Lord's name in vain. So when I do accidentally say "Oh God!" at times when I'm not in fervent prayer, I believe I have done wrong. However, if I hurt myself (which I do often), I say "Sh*t", albeit in a non-English language. If I get extremely mad, I yell "F*ck" and any other swear words that come to mind. In normal conversation, I do not swear, but it's because I don't see the need to, and I find it intellectually stimulating to use a wide range of vocabulary. Perhaps you think I can always employ my wide range of vocabulary when I'm in pain or anger, but why stress myself more thinking of a beautifully crafted phrase when a simple "f*ck" will do? It's short, sharp, and conveys an intense sense of frustration that few other words can.

  If I'm amongst mere acquaintances or Christians who have stronger convictions about "dirty" words, I try my best to steer clear of colourful and tasteless language. The Bible says "But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak." (1 Corinthians 8:9) This verse was in reference to eating food offered to idols, but the spirit of the law suggests that we be careful in case we cause others to stumble.  

  You may disagree with me and feel the need to stone me. That's fine. Thank God for the protection of the internet. I am not here to evangelise the use of simple swear words, I simply wanted to state my bias first.

  My argument is against the idea that Christians should not have negative feelings and that it is unsightly for Christians to express frustrations and anger. Bullshit.

  The last time I checked, Christians are human beings, although we do a pretty good job of being annoying ones. We live in this world, a world that is full of imperfections, hurtful people, and injustice. We are subject to as much attacks and mean behaviour, if not more, as non-Christians. By keeping all the offenses committed against us bottled up, we only succeed in becoming repressed individuals and appear to others as unfeeling people who are out of touch with the real world.

  Regardless of profanity preferences, why should we be scared to be human and be real? Do you really believe that what non-Christians need to see are Christians who are always happy-go-lucky and calm and Zen and perfect?

  By the grace of God, I've had the privilege to lead a few people to Christ. My experience tells me that what people need are Christians who are real, who will share their pain, and who will also share their hope who is the Lord Jesus Christ. They need Christians who are not condescending, who are humble and will listen to what others have to say, who will be understanding and empathetic in times of crisis, because they have been through similar horrors. There are no expectations that these Christians be perfect, only that they be honest and humble.

  Most Christians I know love the Psalms. Why? I think the reason is that the Psalms show us how to go on a real relationship with God, how to keep close to God when everything is falling apart. They have no pious affectations. They are simple, honest and sincere. Psalmists were not afraid to share their frustrations and pain, to write about people they deemed to be enemies in their lives (even to the point of insult at times), and express their desperation and impatience at God's response.

  Psalm 38:20 says "Those also who render evil for good, They are my adversaries, because I follow what is good." i.e. I'm good, they're bad. Help me!

  Psalm 38:11 says "My loved ones and my friends stand aloof from my plague, And my relatives stand afar off." i.e. Those jerks don't care, even though they are supposed to. Just so You know. Poor, poor me.

  Psalm 114:11 says "Rescue me and deliver me from the hand of foreigners, Whose mouth speaks lying words, And whose right hand is a right hand of falsehood--" i.e. Take me far away from those outsiders! They are liars and cheats, through and through! I don't like them!

  Psalm 75:1 says "O God, why have You cast us off forever? Why does Your anger smoke against the sheep of Your pasture?" i.e. Hey God what about US?! This is NOT FAIR.

  And there are lots more. David, the guy after God's own heart, was great at writing stuff like that. So how can it be bad for Christians to have negative feelings? Isn't it only real, natural and 100% preservative free?

  I'm not encouraging Christians to develop anger issues or hold on to grudges until they fossilise within us. There is a season for everything, and we need to learn to let go of things that has died, and to forgive sins committed against us. But when we do experience great pain, frustration or hurt, we should not be afraid to show it. Instead of hiding it, we have to express it so that we can work it out.

  Of course, it doesn't work if we're complaining to everybody but God. Go to God, and while God is working within you, be real in front of people. It's okay to be vulnerable, to cry, to yell, to vent, and in some cases, to swear.

  All the emotions make us human. It shows that we are affected and touched by this world. That we are not mere stone statues adorning this world. It shows that although we are saved, and we know this amazing God, we are still people, like everyone else. And that although we love to help others, we need their help too.

  Most importantly, it shows that while we are imperfect human beings, we are still eternally linked to a perfect God. And that is the essence of the Christian faith -- grace.  

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